


Getting the Laundry Done

by Wertiyurae



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bulges and Nooks (Homestuck), Established Relationship, Homestuck 2: Beyond Canon, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Sex on a Dryer, spoilers for 8/23 update
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:01:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26089837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wertiyurae/pseuds/Wertiyurae
Summary: "The scent of laundry soap was in the air, and the dryer vibrated in a way which indicated that perhaps some belt or other inside was loose, but no one on that ship knew dick about machines, so it was just going to have to vibrate loudly in the appliance version of a wail of pain. Which was quite unlike the wails Karkat was making."
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 20
Kudos: 272





	Getting the Laundry Done

**Author's Note:**

> I ask for your indulgence on this one. This fic was born out of a discussion on the davekat thirst server where a bemoaning of a lack of dryer fics after the update took place. So, here we are. I wrote this in about 2 and half hours. I hope you find this fic to your liking.

The scent of laundry soap was in the air, and the dryer vibrated in a way which indicated that perhaps some belt or other inside was loose, but no one on that ship knew dick about machines, so it was just going to have to vibrate loudly in the appliance version of a wail of pain. Which was quite unlike the wails Karkat was making. 

Dave had done extensive mapping of Karkat's body these last three years. He knew where the sensitive spots were: the parts to touch to make him laugh; the parts to make him moan; the parts to make him flush. His beautiful best friend. 

Karkat's shirt, Dave's shirt, was already off, tossed onto the floor, exposing the expanse of his chest and the flushed grub scars. They were one of the more sensitive spots, and Dave enjoyed the sounds licking them elicited. "Dave," Karkat wailed, half-laughing, "stop teasing me, you—!" 

Dave chose that moment to slide his hand down to the front of Karkat's shorts.

He could feel the bulge already writhing under the fabric. While he could take most of the credit, some credit was probably also due to this loud as fuck dryer. Maybe he could get Roxy to look at it? They already could do computers, right? How much more difficult could a dryer be. A moan from Karkat made Dave remember his priorities. 

His fingers danced with the bulge through the fabric. "Looks like someone's ready to come out and play, aren't you little guy?"

Karkat groaned in a way which indicated his annoyance. "If I've told you once, Dave, I have told you a thousand fucking times: stop talking to my bulge."

"I don't know, Karkat," Dave returned, grinning, "I think he likes it when I talk to him." He leaned closer, his mouth almost touching the fabric of Karkat's shorts. "Isn't that right, little guy?"

Another groan from Karkat: acceptance, or at the very least, impatience. "Fine. Go ahead, waste your time chatting with my reproductive organ. Just get on with it. Before I—" he cut himself off, and Dave spared him a glance from his position between Karkat's legs. "Never mind."

Dave looked at him a moment longer before shrugging. "Okay." He turned his attention back to Karkat, Jr. "Okay, let's get you out of those nasty shorts." He pulled on the waistband, and Karkat obligingly lifted up his bottom to help. Dave didn't bother pulling them down any further than his knees.

"Do whatever you're going to do before I stick to this thing," Karkat commanded. Or tried to: he was starting to sound a little breathless.

Dave saluted. "You got it, boss." Karkat's answering scowl made him grin even wider. The bulge was writhing, but the nook was clearly feeling the effects of the vibrations, too. "I should talk to your nook, too," he said as he leaned in closer, rubbing the outside with his finger. "It's not fair to only chat up your alien dick--the nook needs love, too, right?"

"Oh my god, Dave," Karkat moaned. It was hard to tell if he was moaning because he didn't like the idea of Dave talking to his nook or if it was because Dave had slipped a finger in while he'd been thinking out loud. Nah, it was definitely the latter.

His finger slid inside easily enough that he added another right away. Usually, he was working from a different angle, but he knew he'd find them if he felt around long enough. Ah! There they were: he'd found the shame globe jackpot. He rubbed them the way he'd found Karkat liked the most.

Karkat gasped, and his legs closed just a little bit in reaction. His hands came down to rest on Dave's shoulders. "Fuck," he breathed. 

"Maybe later," Dave said airily. He twisted his fingers, making Karkat shake. "Is this working for you?" he asked, continuing his ministrations. "Do you want something else? Whatever you want, you got it, baby. Just say the word, and it's yours."

The flush on Karkat's face was beautiful. "If-if you're going to ru-un you-your mo-outh anyway, at least, uh, put it to good use."

Honestly, Dave was surprised Karkat was managing to talk at all. Must be losing his touch. He guessed that meant he needed to up his game. "On it." Still working his fingers in Karkat's nook, he took hold of the bulge with his other hand. 

Now, the bulge wasn't always a team player when it came to oral (it had a tendency to try going up to the sinuses if you weren't paying attention), but Dave had learned a few tricks over the years. Mainly, as tempting as it was to try to go full porno on the thing, the safer option was to only take in a mouthful. 

He put just the tip of the bulge in his mouth and sucked hard. 

Karkat wailed louder than the dryer. "FUCK!" 

That was more like it. 

The hands on his shoulders tightened to the point of pain, but Dave was too focused on Karkat and his shuddering movements to care much. If he mouth wasn't occupied with alien tentadick, he'd have started rapping about how beautiful Karkat looked with his head thrown back in pleasure. Karkat's legs were hooked around the middle of Dave's back, pulling him closer. 

"Dave, Dave, Dave," Karkat hissed between his teeth. "Dave, please."

Dave gave the bulge one last hard suck before letting it free. His other hand remained busy despite the cramp it was starting to get. "How do you want me, baby?"

It took Karkat a moment to get his breath back enough to answer. "In me. Please, Dave."

He loved when Karkat got like this. "Your wish is my fucking command. Because we're gonna fuck, and you commanded it." 

Karkat rolled his eyes. It didn't have quite the same impact when he was flushed and his eyes were blown. "Just... just fuck me already."

Dave stepped back long enough to pull off his pajama bottoms. He was a little too short to fuck Karkat if he stayed on the dryer while standing on the ground. Waiting until he got close to Karkat again, he let himself float the extra couple of inches he needed. 

His dick had been hard for a while now (touching Karkat, hearing Karkat, smelling him, tasting him, all of that had a pronounced effect on Dave, Jr.), and he searched Karkat's hungry expression. "You ready? All systems go?"

A quick nod. Arms looping around his neck; legs hooking once more around his back. 

"Time for blast off, then." Dave eased himself into Karkat's nook. The first few times they did this, he'd gone in too hard. Karkat hadn't complained, but Dave had seen the pain in his face and had forced him to come clean. He knew better now. Slow and steady and deep won this race. 

He'd done this so many times, but each time still felt special. Like Karkat's nook was embracing his dick like Karkat was embracing the rest of his body: tight and desperate, but loving and sweet. This time, there was more vibration than usual. He grabbed the edge of the dryer to give him the leverage he needed so he could start moving.

Karkat melted against him, moaning hotly against his neck. "Dave, Dave, Dave." 

Dave didn't think he'd ever get tired of hearing Karkat saying his name like that. "I've got you," he managed somehow. This was the part that took his breath away. "I've got you." 

He was vaguely aware of Karkat's bulge trying to make time with his belly button, but he'd gotten used to that sensation in this position. There was a time when it used to make him laugh uncontrollably. There was a time when he'd worried that Karkat, Jr. might be strong enough to make his own entrance. He'd learned a lot since then. 

Best to just let Karkat, Jr. do his own thing. 

Karkat was kissing him now, and that was a lot more fun to focus on. 

Dave had gotten good at not cutting himself on those teeth. A bit of a learning curve for both of them, really. Now, he barely had to think about it; he could just focus on how it felt to have Karkat's tongue meet his.

Karkat was clinging so tightly to Dave now that Dave could only roll his hips. Each roll elicited another gasp or moan. Each sound was like another shot of blood to his dick. Luckily, Karkat's mouth was so close to his that he could still hear him over the sounds of the dryer. 

Dave was never sure if it was his fault (if he didn't have the stamina) or if it was Karkat's fault (Karkat was just too insanely hot), but he never could last long when he had Karkat like this. "I'm close," he warned. 

Karkat huffed a laugh. "I-I think I might be, might be close, too." He buried his face in Dave's neck. "I love you, Dave."

No matter how many times he heard it, there was still a part of Dave that couldn't believe he was lucky enough for it to be true. "I know." 

For a long moment, the only sounds were their harsh breathing, the slick sound of Dave's movement, and the dryer, wailing away. 

"Did... Did you just quote Star Wars at me?" Karkat asked, incredulous. "Really? Now? Of all fucking times?"

Dave grinned. "I love you, Karkat."

"Well, I don't love you," Karkat mock declared even as he held Dave closer. "I hate you so much." 

It was difficult to laugh with Karkat squeezing him so tightly against him and his nook still hugging his dick, but Dave was just able to chuckle. "You're stuck with me now." 

Karkat's long suffering sigh was undercut by the moan it ended with. Then he did the swearing thing which meant Mt. Vesuvius was about to blow. 

Dave increased his pace just a little, just enough to put them over the edge. "Come on, Karkat, come on." A tightly wound spring coming suddenly loose. Luckily, Karkat didn't mind cream pies curtesy of Master Chef Dave Strider. He kept grinding for the half minute it took Karkat to catch up. 

Karkat finally released Dave to decaptchalogue a bucket. Then he slid off the dryer on wobbly legs. 

Dave floated backwards a little and watched Karkat empty himself. The slurry hit the bottom, making a tinny noise he could only just hear thanks to the dryer. Then the bucket was gone. 

The few times they'd done it on Earth C before everything had gone down, Karkat would give the slurry to Kanaya. He had no idea what he did with it these days. He didn't ask. They had few secrets anymore, but Dave figured he was enough in Karkat's business as it was. 

"Did I do good?" Dave asked, lowering himself back to the floor. 

Karkat smiled, his teeth jutting out over his bottom lip. "Yeah, Dave, you're the best."

"Cool," Dave returned as blandly as he could, which was not very when he was smiling so widely. Then his smile dimmed. "I mean, I'm kind of best by default. Since you're not, um..."

Karkat shook his head with tolerant amusement. "You are ridiculous, Dave. Just take the compliment. Like this: Dave, you did a good job. Oh, really? Well, thank you." He picked up his shirt (Dave's shirt) and slipped it back on. "Now, you try. Dave, you did a good job."

"Oh, really," Dave repeated dutifully. "Well, thank you."

"Much better." Karkat pulled on his shorts. "Go wash your hands and maybe no one will realize why we took so long doing laundry." 

Dave made a pair of sticky finger guns. While he was over at the sink, he took a moment to wash his face off, too. They'd probably still know, but at least Karkat could think that they didn't. Karkat wasn't embarrassed to be having sex with him, Dave was very nearly certain, but he was still embarrassed when other people brought it up. 

Once he was fully clean and fully dressed, he wrapped Karkat in a lazy hug. "I'm glad you're here with me." 

Karkat pat his back. "You already know I'm ecstatic to be here with you." 

They settled against each other, the moment stretching, lasting forever. Warm and loving. Then the sudden silence after the noise of before startled them both. 

Dave turned to look at the now silent dryer. "I guess the laundry's done." 

A disinterested hmm. "It can wait."

Dave smiled into Karkat's hair. "I guess it can."


End file.
